B’nai Mitzvah

B’nai Mitzvah at United Hebrew

At United Hebrew, B’nai Mitzvah is not just about leading a service—it’s about becoming a Jewish adult.

A B’nai Mitzvah is a powerful milestone in a young person’s Jewish journey—marking the transition into Jewish adulthood through learning, prayer, and community participation.

At United Hebrew, we see this moment not just as a ceremony, but as a meaningful and personal experience for each student and their family. Together, we create a celebration that reflects who your child is, what they have learned, and how they are growing as a Jewish individual.

We are committed to meeting each student where they are, honoring diverse learning styles, identities, and needs, and helping every child feel confident and celebrated on the bimah.

The Journey Begins Early

Preparation for B’nai Mitzvah is a multi-year process that begins well before the ceremony itself:

3rd Grade
Students begin Hebrew learning, starting with the aleph-bet, having the foundation of Religious School. 

Grades 3–5
Students build foundational skills in prayers and Shabbat liturgy as part of Hebrew School

6th Grade
Students begin working with Torah and Haftarah, developing both decoding skills and understanding of the text.

 
B’nai Mitzvah dates are typically assigned midway through 4th grade, allowing families ample time to prepare and plan.
 
While the traditional age for B’nai Mitzvah is around 13, we honor each student’s readiness. Some students choose to celebrate in 8th grade or beyond, and we work with families to support the right timing.
 
If your child is beginning later, we encourage you to reach out—we’re happy to help determine the best next steps.
 

The B’nai Mitzvah Preparation Process

 
About one year before the B’nai Mitzvah, students begin more focused, individualized preparation. This process is designed to be structured, supportive, and manageable for both students and families. While there are many moving parts, you are not expected to navigate this journey alone. Clergy and staff will guide your child step by step.

7 Months Before Torah 1 Session (30 minutes)
The student meets with a rabbi to learn about writing a d’var Torah (Torah teaching) and personal prayer. This session introduces how students teach their Torah portion and connect it to their own lives and the world today. Parents are encouraged to attend.

613 Commandments Assignment Given
The student will read all 613 commandments with a parent and reflect on which feel most meaningful and least meaningful. This assignment will be discussed with a rabbi 2 weeks before the service.

6½ Months Before Torah 2 Session (1 hour)
The student and rabbi explore the Torah portion in depth and discuss modern-day connections. The student receives guidance and notes to help draft their d’var Torah at home.

6 Months Before Torah 3 Session (30 minutes)
The student reviews their d’var Torah draft and begins working on their personal prayer, reflecting on what becoming B’nai Mitzvah means, gratitude, and hopes for the future.

Weekly B’nai Mitzvah Tutoring Begins
The student begins working with a B’nai Mitzvah tutor to prepare prayers, Torah, and Haftarah. Sessions are available on two weekdays in the afternoons; students attend once per week until bimah sessions begin with the rabbis.

4 Months Before Haftarah Session (30 minutes)
The student studies their Haftarah in English and writes an introduction connecting it to their Torah portion.

3 Months Before English Liturgy 1 (30 minutes)
The student selects English readings for the service and begins working on a Reading for Inspiration; a poem, quote, song lyric, or text that sets the tone for the service and holds personal meaning.

2 1/2 Months Before English Liturgy 2 (30 minutes)
Students begin working directly with the clergy to prepare their service, including their d’var Torah and personal prayers.

10 Weeks Before Bimah Sessions Begin (30 minutes)
Students begin practicing on the bimah with the rabbis, including Torah, Haftarah, prayers, English readings, and service flow.

2 Months Before Parent Meeting (30 minutes)
Parents meet with clergy to discuss the service and bimah honors. The Clergy Assistant will also email details about:

    • Student photo for the bulletin
    • Required paperwork
    • Program preparation options (Due dates will be included.)

6 Weeks Before Final Presentation (30 minutes)
The student practices all English readings and writings on the bimah and receives feedback on presentation skills, if needed.

4 Weeks Before Music Selection (30 minutes)
The family will meet with the Cantorial Soloist/Director of Congregational Music to discuss the music selection for the B’nai Mitzvah service.

2 Weeks Before 613 Commandments Discussion (30 minutes)
The student meets with a rabbi to reflect on and discuss the 613 Commandments assignment.

Week of the Service Family Rehearsal (Tuesday or Wednesday, approx. 1 hr)
The student and family rehearse the full service with Rabbi Rosenberg, typically from 6–7 p.m. Anyone participating in the service is encouraged to attend.

 

B’Nai Mitzvah FAQ

What happens on Friday evening?
The B’nai Mitzvah family is invited to participate in Shabbat services, including blessings such as candle lighting and kiddush.

What time does the Saturday service begin?
Services begin at 10 a.m.

What is the role of parents?
Parents are invited to stand on the bimah during their child’s aliyah, offer a blessing, and share brief words with their child.

Are tallitot and kippot required?
They are not required, but are encouraged for those for whom it is meaningful.

How can we honor family and friends?
Honors may include:

    • Aliyot
    • English readings
    • Opening/closing the ark
    • Dressing/undressing the Torah
    • Participating in celebratory moments such as candy distribution

Planning & Support

We look forward to partnering with your family throughout this journey.
For scheduling, questions, or to begin the process, please contact
Esther Olson, Clergy Assistant

Contact Us

13788 Conway Road
St. Louis, MO 63141
314-469-0700 (Main Office/Clergy)
314-434-3404 (School Office)
temple@unitedhebrew.org

Office Hours

Monday - Friday,
8:30 am - 5:15 pm

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